So now that we have established that Beau does not like bugs, here is a story about poop. You know those diapers that are so messy there is no point in even trying to use baby wipes to deal with them? Well one day a few weeks ago Beau blew out a diaper. It was awful and poo was everywhere. So I grabbed him carefully by the armpits and hauled him to the bathtub. The idea was to hose him off because there was so much poop it would take a mountain of wipes and an hour of work to effectively eliminate all of it. I turned on the water and started rinsing him. He was fine for a minute but then he looked down and noticed the poo particles slowly swirling and heading for the drain. As it turns out swirling poo particles look a lot like bugs. That was when things went bad and Beau began to panic.
Beau started screaming “bugs! Bugs! Dey on me! bugs on me!” I tried to reassure him that, no it was not bugs just lots of poop. He would have none of it and began thrashing and trying to escape from the tub. I was trying to hold him still with one hand and rinse him with the other but he was struggling so hard poo water was flying everywhere. I started screaming “hold still, its poop not bugs! I just cleaned this bathroom! Hold still!!!” Now I am covered with poo water. He is struggling even harder and gets one leg loose which streaks poo along the side of the tub. There is no point in me trying to stay clean at this point so I grab him around the belly and stick his little bum directly under the water. He is finally clean and I wrap him in his towel and he wanders off saying over and over “no like bugs, bad bugs, bugs ucky”. I look around my bathroom and survey the damage, poo water EVERYWHERE. Kids are so gross.