Sunday, November 18, 2012

Mom's Holiday Prayer


In light of the holiday that is fast approaching I thought I would post a little blessing for us moms, hope you all have a great Thanksgiving:
 

Let the poopie diapers you change be few, and their bowels be especially active while with the sitter. May your potty training accidents be infrequent, always over a hard surface, and never on your favorite rug.

May your mom jeans always hold their shape, neither sagging in the butt nor expanding annoyingly in the upper thigh.  Let them always button at that waist defining sweet spot, just below the belly button but right over the muffin top, so you look nice and slim.

May any baby puke clear your shoulder, and all other vomit bombs make it to the toilet. At least if neither option is possible may you avoid a direct hit, and please Lord, don’t let it be contagious.

Let us pray that when choosing the day's cartoons the kids pass on Caillou and Power Rangers and choose something else, Dear God please, ANYTHING else.

When it comes to lunch may your mac n’ cheese turn out creamy and thick, because let’s be honest the watery stuff is gross. May your Nutella be bottomless and the fruit snacks plentiful and never glued to the couch cushions.

May all your extended family holiday time be peaceful, loving, and sweet, but if that isn’t an option may there be wine, lots of wine. Oh, and maybe at least make the drama worth watching too… just thought I’d ask.

 

Amen.

6 comments:

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    1. The first time we bought Nutella I ate the whole jar with a spoon, no joke. That's stuff is like crack!

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  2. Caillou is a whiney little thing, isn't he? There is more than enough whining in my house. I have never introduced my children to that awful child.
    I hope all of these dreams come true for you!

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    1. The show is so boring I don't understand why kids like it, Now that we don't have cable I don't have to put up with it. Unfortunately there are like 50 bajillion Power Rangers episodes on Netflix.

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  3. Caillou is the new Barney. Whenever my kids start whining I call them Caillou and they clam it up. Don't like to be compared to a big bald headed kid, I guess. Very funny prayer. First time I've been to your site. Nice!

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