My resolution for this year is to start being nicer to myself. Over the past couple years home with the kids I’ve become a real bitch and although Nic would probably argue he bears the brunt of it, that just isn’t the case. I’m mean, rude, and straight up obnoxious, and if I spoke to my friends the way I speak to myself I wouldn’t have any. If I listened to that voice all the time I wouldn’t have a blog, I wouldn’t be in school, there are a million things I would have bullied myself out of doing.
Every time I think of something I want to write, or make, or just succeed at that voice in my head pops up and the first thing she says is, who cares. Who cares about your opinion, who cares about your crappy art, who cares about your life. Then she moves on to, you suck. You suck at writing, you suck at housekeeping, your attempts at parenting are pathetic. That bitch could go on for days and never shuts up, and the worst part is that bitch is ME.
I want what I hear in my head to be positive so what comes out of my mouth will be positive. When my kids grow up I want that voice in their head to be a cheerleader not a mean girl. As I teach them how to treat others I also want them to learn how to treat themselves, with the same kindness you should show everyone.
So 2013 is the year of, go Kerri you rock! Instead of talking shit to myself I’m going to start bragging on myself and giving myself credit for everything I do. I’m trying new things and I really don’t give a crap what anyone else thinks about what I’m doing, because I’m doin’ this for me! Actually it goes beyond this year, this is my life change, because who needs New Years to make a change when you can start over any time. I’m slowly learning that there isn’t a single person who has judged me as harshly as I judged myself, that girl in my head is a liar and I’m not listening anymore.