Friday, February 1, 2013

Bug Redemption

A few of you may remember my post The Bug, a story in I which fearlessly defend Beau from a giant flying bug with nothing but my bare hands and the electric flyswatter they were holding. HA! More like a tale where I ran around screaming and confirmed all the neighbors suspicions that I have, in fact, lost my mind.

Well I have a new story for you today, a story where good wins out over evil, mothers defend their offspring, and Beau is once again attacked by a bug. 

Our story begins as we are cruising and perusing the aisles of Walmart, I parked my three seater minivan of shopping carts at the end of an aisle to get a better look at some oddly shaped hunting knives. Suddenly from the cart I hear Beau screaming, "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy, MOMMMMMM!!!! My knee!!!!!" 

Casually I answer, "Quiet Beau-ee, your knee is fine, you need a kiss? Here I blew you one." *smooch*


"Pieder" translates to spider so I decided to maybe cruise by and take a gander. You never know with Beau, he's terrified of spiders and often confuses things like toe jam, dirt, and every bug that moves for a spider. Well as I come to take a closer look I see that for once Beau is right, a brown spider is dangling a few inches above his little knee and he can't escape. He is strapped into the seat and the PIEDER is coming RIGHT for him!

Without even thinking I jumped in to save my baby, actually I think I screamed something like "MYYYY BAAABAYYYYY!!!" Than I open palm, bitch slapped that spider out of the air, did you catch that I SLAPPED A SPIDER OUT OF THE AIR!!!! Spider landed on the ground and was then trampled as I ran in circles screaming intermittently and repeating over and over "Conner! Did you just see that?!!" 

I grabbed poor traumatized Beau baby, Conner missed the whole thing, of course. Gah! So basically I looked like the John McClane of spider squashers, and NOBODY saw!! Oh well, I retold it here EXACTLY as it happened, so now you can all stand witness to the fact that I have redeemed myself after Beau's last bug attack. 


  1. Hi, I’m Anne from Life on the Funny Farm (, and I’m visiting from Finding the Funny.

    Omg,the things we do for our children. It's insanity, I tell youm insanity! Very horoic deed, Mama. I'm impressed.

    Anyway, thanks for posting this. If you ever get a chance, stop over to my blog to say hi! Have a great day…

    1. Thanks for checking me out! I'll be sure to stop by and say hey!