Tuesday, August 20, 2013

on the subject of fossilized nuggets

You know you're a mom when... your car looks more like the back of a trash truck halfway through the neighborhood pickup than the fresh vehicle you purchased years ago. Between work, daycare, soccer, and weekend trips to thrift shops my car has become a catch all for the whole family's crap. I've let the junk build up until I can't possibly go another day without cleaning it out. Lately the car has developed into a health hazard, like if we were in a car accident last months chicken nuggets would probably act as shrapnel and cause serious bodily harm.

So this week I decided to suck it up and clean out the wagon. Actually the final push came when I was leaving work on a hot day. As I slowly rolled up to the stoplight outside work, a can of Dr Pepper tapped the back hatch of my car and exploded. A soft, warm, mist of fizzy soda settled over my head and I realized at that moment I had hit my rock bottom, and it was time to turn things around.

So I went home and pulled out handfuls of trash, toys and fossilized chicken nuggets from the floorboards. I found missing action figures, close to a trillion sippy cups, and good lord did I find a lot of shoes. Once I reached the final level of muck I discovered the blackened remains of a banana and... a smell. A horrible, noxious, unshakable stench. Somehow the layers of toys, clothes, shoes, sippies, and other junk was acting as a filter for the evil smell, and now there is nothing to contain it. The car is clean but any drive spent sitting in that smell leaves you feeling slightly unwashed.

I'm working on a plan to get rid of the smell, it's a fool proof plan, all I need to do is convince Nic to let me buy a new car.

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