Monday, September 23, 2013

Let's get a pet...

Me and the kids have been trying to convince Nic to get a pet for a while now. I’ve tried teaching Tillie to sign, “I want a puppy, daddy” with her lip pushed out and her big blue eyes, how can he say no to that! However, all Tillie has been able to sign so far is “eat more” and then she growls the word “puppppayssss”, it’s a little off putting and hasn't earned us a dog. Then the other day on the way to soccer Conner ran some ideas by me for a slightly more exotic family pet… a cheetah.
I guess he had put a lot of thought into it because he opened with an argument about all the good qualities Cheetah’s have,
1. They’re really fast, maybe the fastest animal in the world

2. They’re really good guard cats
Now, I know a good idea when I hear one, so I let him know that I was sold on the whole Cheetah thing as long as he cleaned up the poop. That’s when he remembered the one bad quality a Cheetah has… it might eat us if it got hungry.
So bummer… no cheetah… but wait he knew another animal that might be a good fit, how about a gazelle. They also have lots of good qualities,
1. They’re just as fast as cheetahs
2. You can ride them
3. They eat grass, so it would mow the lawn
I have to say, that was a totally legit list of attributes, I would LOVE a gazelle. I think he could definitely would fill that soft furry animal shaped hole in our family. So I tell Conner I’m down, let’s go to Petsmart and see what they have in the Safari aisle, maybe bring ourselves home an African deer… but wait… he has a better idea.
“Mom!!! If we get a cheetah AND a gazelle, we can have two really cool pets and if the cheetah gets hungry he’ll eat the gazelle instead of us!!”
Well, that’s some logic right there. I guess that could work… except, I explain, I don’t think I can afford to buy a gazelle every week to feed our pet cheetah. Money doesn't grow on trees after all…
“Oh mom, you’re so silly… you can’t BUY a gazelle! They’re WILD animals… you’ll just have to go to Africa every week and pick one up.”
Oh is that all? Well in that case, how about we start naming the lint balls that come out of the dryer… because it looks like it’s as close to a pet as we’re going to get.

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